X+FILES:A Hole In Someone

SCENE 6: CLIMAX AFTER CLIMAX

	Night has fallen. all is still at the putt putt. just like the introduction. white text fades in at lower frame left: Putt Putt Par 3 – Hole 4 - 12:15 am

	Muller and Skoldy strike cool FBI poses around the fourth hole’s flag. Skoldy is taking samples from the grass, wearing rubber gloves and glasses. Muller looks to the stars with hands on his hips. Muller I don’t see anyone here. Scoldy I’m detecting a high concentration of cow manure in the soil here. Muller (annoyed) Well, why don’t you try another spot. Scoldy Fax, it’s twelve fifteen. How long are we going to wait around here for-

	There is a distance ghostly sound of cow moo. Muller Did you hear that? Scoldy Hear what? Muller That sound. (pause) Sounded like (pause) a cow. The cow sounds again.

	Scoldy Muller, that’s crazy… Muller Wait. Listen… After a long silence, the sprinklers come on. They’re both immediately drenched and unamused. Hiking their jackets up over their heads, they stomp off towards the clubhouse.

	Scoldy God damn you, Muller. This is the last wild goose chase I’m following you on, I swear- Muller Wait. Do you see that?

	Up ahead several golf clubs are hovering between them and supposed sanctuary.

	Skoldy is more interested in what’s dripping through her hair. The sprinkling water has turned red. Scoldy Is this blood? Muller, what’s going on here?

	Muller looks up to see golf clubs everywhere. The clubs surrounding them begin to take random swings. Muller Skoldy, Duck. Scoldy Do you know how much money i spend just to get-

	Muller DOWN! Muller slams skully's head into the ground. They are randomly batted around the head and shoulders

	Muller Skoldy do you feel that? Scoldy Run!

	Muller pulls Skoldy through the hail of golf clubs (Not unlike the scene in the xfiles movie where they run from the bees).

	Eventually they slam into the side of the club house, but the clubs are no longer following. Skoldy rubs her thigh. Scoldy What the hell was hitting me? Were you getting goose happy again? Scoldy I got it! I know what’s going on! It’s those angry cow spirits of the former slaughter house lashing out in anger. Scullsy gives Muller the look of “here we go again, crazy bastard.” All of sudden there’s a crazy, horrendous laugh. It’s Hui! Hui HA HA HA HA HA HA.

	Muller That’s not funny Hui! Muller and Scullsy approach Hui, with their badges instantly drawn. Hui runs away. Muller and Scullsy toss their badges and chase Hui around the building.

	Hui runs through frame, sheer terror on his face.

	Muller slams a cartridge into his gun

	Skully's breasts pop out of her blouse

	Hui slips behind a tower of garbage cans, breathing heavily. Hui (gasps) Oh jesus

	hui's POV two raccoons fucking.

	Muller No one hides from the FBI Hui! Muller waves gun while skully buttons her blouse in background, cursing to herself.

	Hui discovers landmines pouring out of one of the trash cans at his shoulder Hui "what the fu-?"

	Hui bolts, knocking over trashcans. In the distance skoldy and muller spot him Skoldy There he goes! Muller FREEZE MOTHERFUCKER!

	explosions go off while skully and muller chase him.

	feet pound past the now crispy crittered raccoons. one poops.

	Hui ducks into the boiler room and locks the door behind him. Muller and Skoldy are right behind him.

	Muller COME OUT HUI! Scoldy (draws her gun) Hui, we just want to talk to you.

	Hui Both of you can go to hell.

	BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! Muller and Scullsy both fire at the door. They empty entire clips into the door.

	The boiler room immediately blows up in 2 story fireball. Muller and Skoldy are knocked off their feet.

	Muller and Scoldy get up, miraculously unharmed, as shrapnel continues to fly by. Each section of the building blows up in turn as the fire spreads. Muller heh.