X+FILES:A Hole In Someone

SCENE 2: THE PUTT PUTT POSES QUESTIONS...
Long shot of the Putt Putt par 3 golf course.
We see the parking lot is overloaded.
we also sense that this place is some kind of a hick golf joke.

white text fades in at lower frame left:
Putt Putt Par 3 Putting Green – Corvallis, Oregon - 12:15 pm

Skoldy is nowhere to be seen, and Muller is intent on his practice green putting, now wearing the most ridiculous of all golf costumes.

Muller attempts a long putt and misses horribly. but the ball circles around and is drawn into the hole anyway.

Muller raises an eyebrow. the ball starts bouncing in and out of the hole feverishly.

Muller looks up and sees something more interesting in the distance. He runs off.

CARL, the park manager, is sending off another inbred couple to the tee-off point.
(note: make the couple look like badly disguised almond eye aliens?)

Carl
Actually, sir, ya hold the club like this-

Muller
What can you tell me about your Par3, Sir?

Carl
uh...

Muller whips his ID out, and shoves it in the guys face.

Muller
Seems like somebody’s smiling down on all these no-talent players.

Muller turns his head to the inbred couple. They scowl at Muller before teeing off.

Carl
Why should I care, Pig? Out here, they give me the money, and I hand em the clubs. In there, I gives em booze. Pretty straight forward.


Muller
Oh really?

Muller pushes ID forward like it will coax a better answer out of carl.

Carl
Yeah, really. Sometimes I mix it up a bit. You know, fer fun. But one way or another, I’m just offering happiness. Hey, you want a beer, buddy?

Carl whips around and exits frame, leaving muller hanging.

In background we see the inbred girl take a ridiculously mighty swing at the ball, and sink a hole in one.
She and brother/husband bump chests in glee.

Muller tosses badge aside and sticks hands into pockets as he runs after Carl.

Muller catches up with Carl. They walk back to the clubhouse/dirty bar together.

Muller
Actually, I’d like a game.

Carl
Well, Hell. You’re a few days late for that, mac. We’re booked till the weekend. Everybody wants to come on down here and pretend they’ve got some talent now that lady luck is takin’ interest.

Muller
Must be good for business-

Carl
You know I used to own the stinking place? I was a great golf player. I was a star. I was somebody. I was on my way to becoming a pro and I ain’t ever had to commit no crime against no body!

Muller
What happened?

Carl
Well, (pause) I, uh (pause)

Carl hesitates to tell Muller the embarrassing truth, so he lies

Carl (continued)
I lost it all to gambling (pause) and addiction to gay porn.

Muller
I am sorry to hear that.

Muller and Carl exchange odd (careful) looks.

Muller
I love pornos too.

Carl
Gay?

Muller
… No.