THE ENIGMA OF THE BASKET WITH THE DEAD CAT UNDER THE TREE BEHIND THE TOMBSTONE OF MERRIWEATHER LEWIS By Shawn Waldow SCENE 1 It is sunrise. In the oldest section of a woody cemetery, we open with a very long shot, the central subject of which is an old tree surrounded by graves stones, but off to one side in the background Man and Woman are engaged in sex, naked. The sex is silent. Birds chirp. Cut to a medium shot of the couple entwined. A bird gives one last loud chirp then stops. Woman notices the name on the gravestone just beyond the one she and Man are having sex against: WOMAN Holy Shit! She is now distracted but Man keeps thrusting. Without a word, Woman gets up and, clutching herself in the cold, hurries over to the curious grave. MAN What, did the telephone ring? WOMAN No, silly. Look at the name on this grave: Merriweather Lewis. He's a famous explorer, isn't he? The Lewis-&-Clark Lewis? MAN U don't know that its the Lewis-&-Clark Lewis. Besides, if it was a famous explorer it'd have some shrine here or something. WOMAN How do u know? MAN (putting on pants) Because i'm not stupid. Woman brushes off the stone then stands up and begins putting on her clothes too. Man lights a cigarette. They pack up the rest of their things and begin walking back to their car. Woman stops when she sees a basket nearby with an apparently dead cat inside. MAN What the fuck is a dead cat doing... Woman has stopped and bent over, shaking the basket to make sure the feline isn't simply ragged looking but alive. She is now sure the cat is dead and is visibly grief stricken. She clutches at Man. MAN Don't touch me bitch, u just touched a fucking dead cat! WOMAN I didn't know it was dead for sure. MAN That doesn't make yr hands any cleaner. Woman starts to cry huddled to herself. Man now tries to embrace girl. MAN im sorr- WOMAN (interrupts) U fucking asshole! Woman beats boy off by pounding his chest MAN (sound trailing off to chirping birds) Fuck u! Camera pans up to barren tree branches. Fade out to sobs of girl. THE END NOTE TO DIRECTOR: I SUGGEST USING NEGATIVE BLACK AND WHITE CHROMA KEY. THIS HAS TWO ADVANTAGES, MAKING A LIVE CAT PASS FOR DEAD (IF IT WILL STAY STILL) AND LETTING US CHANGE THE NAME ON A GRAVESTONE WITH MAYBE A DROP CLOTH. THE STRANGE TEXTURES OF THE CHROMA KEY WILL HIDE /DISTORT ENOUGH DETAILS THAT U WON'T BE ABLE TO NOTICE THESE OTHERWISE DIFFICULT TO SURRMOUNT FLAWS. IT ALSO FITS THE MOOD OF THE PIECE. TOO BAD IT IS A LITTLE CORNY. MAYBE U HAVE A BETTER IDEA. DON'T WORRY ABOUT ACTORS & LOCATION. I CAN COVER THAT PART.