MEET THE COPS Ovary Kilt Sireish Captain O.D. Everyone calls him Captain Odie because he runs the show. Always Captain Odie may be the most decorated cop on the force, but he'll never advance past captain. Any cop would take a bullet for the captain, and he'll let them. Basically, Captain Kirk meets Nick Fury. Voice1 (mp3 389 kb) Hell Mutt Riddicker private The new guy on the squad. Helmet refuses to remove his space suit, no matter how semmingly safe the conditions. His shiny face shield, and electronically modulated voice quickly make him the audience favorite. Basically, a neurotic boba fett. Voice1:SlowMoDistortfail (mp3 326 kb) (Voice1: raw) (mp3 197 kb) Voice2: Darth* (mp3 551 kb) (Voice2: raw) (mp3 585 kb) Sue Harellen Seargent Harellen is a tough mechanic, but also a smart cookie. Never trading on looks alone, she manuevers the space cops through respect of her hard ass. An effective conscience. Voice1: irish-ish (mp3 307 kb) Hank Curliegh Private "Curly" stands alone as the only truly good human being in the space cop crew. His video documents of space crimes are the only judgemental evidence of the groups actions. A silent conscience. Voice1: TomWaits-ish? (mp3 549 kb) Voice1: slater-ish* (mp3 514 kb) Trystic Hysteria (Monsanto Corn-0?) private The only alien on the crew, Trystic is the court jester of justic. He comes off as a wise cracking arab, his slimy attenae can sniff out any lie. If he spoke like a human being his insights might prove useful. Oh well. Voice1: CaseyKasem* (mp3 253 kb) (Voice1: strange tweaks) (mp3 255 kb) Voice2: Dave Gahan Fail (mp3 494 kb) Voice3: Sing Fail (mp3 461 kb) Voice4: inconsistent... (mp3 308 kb) (more voices to come...) Ivan Borf [classified] "Mitball" was kicked off the force on his first day for criminal cruelty, but Captain Odie keeps him around for his vicious effectiveness. The ultimate space cop, he wears a gigantic useless armature to frighten his victims. Giy Purzon Private Like most all-american heroes, Giy hides a wealth of serious problems behind a fast smile. He is astonishly attractive, except for his disturbingly withered turkey neck. Giy will die off asap. Vrainy Haltish Science Officer As close as the space cops will get to a medical officer. Vrainy is never leaves his lab, and wastes tons of funds on his experiments, and tons of time on his monologues. Think weird nazi war criminal in hiding, except he's 20 years old. Malikili torment Mechanic/Plumber "Mel" fixes all machinerey, and bullies anything living. But is known for the nipples he attaches to all electronic lifeforms he can get a hold of. The robots of the ship hide from him. Mel seems to be hiding a gay relationship with Gort. Gort Idiot Savant Gort has developed serious psychological problems due to the deaths and/or disappearances of all his robot children. His questionable IQ makes him the perfect fat ass backup for Mel's bullying idiocy. The only robot Mel ever birthed. Thus he has no nipples, and is about as usful as a cold toaster. The various nipple bots were given life by Gort, and given functioning silcon nipples by Mel. Living a life of pain, they are the cute cockroaches of the space cop's Light Frieght. Future Characters Rashit A total piece of shit. Rashit is basically an older version of the Doctor from Lost In Space. He is so sleazy that none of space cops can stand him. Despite his faulty eyesite and questionable alliegences, he is relegated to group Sniper to keep him out of everyone's way. Future Characters Ostrich Dog The ships mascot, ostrich dog was created by Vrainy to lighten the mood around Light Frieght 16. It is literaly an ostrich with fur and puppy dog eyes. In the season finale we reveal that each space cop has been having a wild affair with this sensitive genetic mistake / pet. Future Characters DJ Hard-E - Ships Pilot Rocking asteroid navigator. Her dreadlocks, techno rasta music taste, and tie dyed space suit belie a no nonsense navigator with a mysterious hatred of space pirates... Future Characters Vapid Zowie - Ships Gunner Forgotten hermit of the never before used Ionic Tube Turrets (ITTs). When Light Frieght 16 is attacked by space pirates someone asks if the ship has any defenses. DJ Hardey mentions Vapid Zowie who went into the ITTs compartment when the ship was first launched and was never heard from again. A crazy old hermit, Vapid Zowie lives to shoot just about anything. repeatedly. His over kill will be the reason all space pirates in galaxy 9 are after our heroes. Future Characters Comm Ish - The galaxy 9 district commissioner Assigns the missions. Once a cigar smoking old man, he became more and more a cyborg until he finally lost his head. Now the only flesh that remains of this former ship captain are his hairy muscular legs. These attractive legs could never support his massive robot replaced parts, so he hovers around in a wheel chair, eternally pissed off. He still smokes cigars... Future Characters Space Pirates The villians of the series. Behind any space cop problem are the space pirates. Space Pirates are generally geeky effeminate nerds, with a love for fantasy, swashbuckling, and creativity that makes our hard nosed cops sick. In episode 24 "Tragedy&Truggets" the cops are kidnapped, and brought to the space pirate homeworld where they are forced to battle each other to the death in an arena that basically amounts to endless rock hallways and silly D&D cliches. Future Characters Clair Goo - Internal Affairs Angry bookish black haired seeker of truth. She and her partner are brought in during the first part of the season finale (Body of Blood) to investigate the death of Giy. Future Characters Lance Hendrickson - Internal Affairs Yes. Lance Hendrickson. Future Characters Roc Nads - Star Attorney Nads is brought in during the second part of the season finale (Ostrich of Evidence) to replace Giy Purzon. He is immediately chosen as Ostrich Dog's defense attorney, despite his absence of law knowedge. Romance and courtroom hijinks ensue... Future Characters Candice Lacey - corporate vixen In episode 13, "Too many privates and pirates," Candice is sent to the ship as a weapons trainer / motivational speaker. Her job is to get the various private officers to move up in rank. She finds that Captain Odie is the problem, and attempts to lead a mutiny. Captain Odie eventually denounces her as a space pirate, which may or may not be true.