SPACE COPS EPISODE 2 : Pirhana Pirates Threaten The Pimp Planet(alt: "Smack Down On The Pimping Planetoid." or "Planet: Slap!") ------------------------------------------------------------- PROLOGUE: INT. SPACE COPS HQ. Deep in the cubicle deck. Hard angled blue metal forms unfriendly futuristic desk area for Cops who are on duty. It looks like the kind of sleazy stainless steel cages you'd see in a zoo, or the loading area of a James Cameron film. It appears to be hosed down daily. with coffee. Ralphie, a sleazy Cops emerge from the witness interrogation chamber a little roughed up. RALPHIE Hey. I doesn't want to go into details, but eh (beat) things got a little hot and heavy in there if you know what I mean. 222 I know what you mean. RALPHIE Know what I mean? 222 I know you mean business, Ralphie. 111 Yes we can see that you abused the witness, Ralphie. Too bad there are no sexual harrassment protocols enforcable in this sector. RALPHIE My lucky day, ey? 111 You know you have at least 6 Zygortive underlings strapped hard to your visible front facing limbal joints. RALPHIE huh? whazzat? 222 You've got some of it's seeds on you, Pal. little tentacled seeds it seams. at the seams of your suit. Sure enough, tiny octopods are wrapped around parts of Ralphie. Camera angle puts one in extreme CU foreground, so we can see it pulsate while Ralphie retorts. RALPHIE What? that's crazy! 222 Yeah, it's gross. RALPHIE Hell, you're gross! what? 222 Besides Ralphie, that wasn't exactly a GIRL alien. If you know what I mean. RALPHIE What? 111 Oh you think 222 is saying she was a he. But no, what we are saying is that she wasn't remotely human. She wasn't even a mollusk* as more trained eyes might percieve. She was more of a cartoonishly large ghonorheal organism. (*note: or whatever species octopi are labeled as on earth. research this) 222 A living loving STD. RALPHIE That dame was a disease?!? 111 Essentially. 222 Did you kiss it? Ralphie begins to vomit. 222 laughs and 111 awkwardly smirks like a prudish duck. 222 Well don't be so obvious about it, Ralphie. They're escorting the prisoner by now. 111 Ralphie stop. 222 Dude. Nows not the time to- 111 Ralphie! DUCK! Just as Ralphie takes a breather from his retching to look around, a giant octopuse flies sideways and hits him like a line tackle. The momentum is so great that they are both carried out of frame. 111 & 222 SECURITY! Gun fire erupts as alarms sound. - CUT TO - OPENING CREDITSA boot stamps down onto alien soil, kicking up dust.A billion savage purple aliens run over a far off hill with spears and rocks.the space cops continue exiting their ship and locking and loading. One begins to fire.The alien race is demolished in laser fire.The starship endoprise rockets through hyperspace and a pair of spinning police lights raise into the foreground....General mayhem and dirty cop antics SCENE 1: INT. COP BRIDGE LOUNGE Cops play bridge and drink hard liquor Hey, welcome to the bridge. Officer. BLAZM! O'Halloran wastes the guy for making the oldest joke on the bridge. hey! O'Halloran! you can't just go wasting the rookies like that! Fork him, Chief. That guy was a gord shotting forking over-pedophile. I could feel it in my little girl parts. Chief looks around shiftily. Well alright. Fair enough. ok. ... establish their current mission, to go somewhere and do some shit. Which is side tracked by this pimp planet business. ... SCENE 2: EXT. BACK ALLEY of SPARKLE GLIDESTONE (MECCA OF PIMP PLANET) Pimp alien abuses a whore alien bigger issues are raised. "you ain't forming no damned Union! Borscht! Forky Gord Shotty Borscht!" (imply translater is broken for audience? apologize? or that universal rating systems are interferring and will be dealt with? python Holy Grail "opening credits" style?) SCENE 3: TV MONITOR We see an intro for another show (perhaps confusing our audience into thinking a new show has started). bit by bit we realize this is a tacky crime show - pimp planet style. we pull back to reveal Mitbowl watching it, arms slack at his sides (knuckles dragging). MITBOWL This looks like one great show. O'Halloran Let's go, Mitbowl. MITBOWL PUNCH IT! Mitbowl punches his giant arm through the tv. They walk off down the street. O'HALLORAN I like your moves, Mitbowl. MITBOWL LOVE IT! SCENE 4: ???